Wednesday, September 30, 2009

"Dahling, I LIVE for (faux) fur!"

(note the Lush Pile)

Yes indeed! Today's iconic fashion quote comes from your favorite fur-crazed fashionista from hell, Cruella De Ville! This short ivory faux fur cocoon coat has absolutely no dalmationish markings on it, I may point out. I may also point out that I meant the photos to be in reverse order, starting with the eerily moody full-length shot and moving toward the more close up one showing the lush pile.

I have curated an extensive coat collection over the years. This is my newest addition which I'm sure will be a wardrobe staple even though with no closures, 3/4 length sleeves and a fairly short length, it makes no sense at all here in the harsh northern climes. But everyone knows we must suffer for fashion even if it means the occasional frost-bitten extremity...

(eerily moody shot)
Well, I'd better go. I'm leaving for New York City tomorrow and I'll probably be seated in the front row at all the big fashion shows. Oh, wait, New York Fashion Week is over! Everyone's in Milan now. Still got to go, "no time to palaver!"

Monday, September 28, 2009

Harry Potter, an Iconic Fashion Statement


As a not-R & F Person (Rich & Famous), I would just be considered incredibly odd or incredibly cheap if I wore these delightful Harry potter-meets-bejeweled-reading-glasses-look on the street.

If I was R & F, pictures of me, looking artfully disheveled and wearing these tape-embellished glasses would appear in magazines everywhere. Young, aspiring trendsetters across the nation would rush to sport the quirky, bohemian new look. There would be a run on tape and 3M stock would go through the roof, making stockholders and employees everywhere dance with jubilation.

I don't know why I've decided to advertise recently that I'm so thrifty (well, yes I can, I'm so excited about bargains), but "never miss a chance to make fun of yourself", that's one of my 17 mottos...
Here's a closer look for all you do-it-yourselfers...captivating, aren't they?
Vogue accessories editor Sahvahnah Shalom breathlessly described them as, "A triumph in re-inventing recessionista chic...the asymetry and the unexpected combination of two such disparate fashion genres...the rhinestone-embellished glasses and the masking tape...make a statement not seen before in the fashion world..." while several people in my own home added, "Pathetic..."
No where before has someone referenced Harry Potter, 3M, Vogue, and Bejeweled Reading Glasses in the same iconic accessory. And that's exactly what I meant to do...

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Totally Thrifty

I just love those glossy fashion blogs where the people are running into the designer shows during London, New York, Paris and Milan Fashion Week. Also the ones of Beautiful People in their Beautiful Clothes in their Beautiful Lives.

They always have great shoes, the kind I only see in magazines, totally impractical, so sculptural and phenomenally realized that I must prevent myself from hyperventilating.

Just the fact that these women are willing to walk any distance in those sky-high heels shows their steely and unwavering dedication to the fashionable life. Since I don't live in a (fashion-wise) Beautiful City, you won't see that type of photo here.

In the Fashion Hinterlands, we must Make Our Own Fun. We must scrounge up our fashion, patch it together and take pictures of ourselves in the mirror.

Just like the Cool Girl blogs, I will now describe my Totally Thrifted Outfit:

"Outfit: Vintage Ralph Lauren cropped denim jacket, Anthropologie ruffle front top, 100% silk leopard print skirt, BCBG patent accent platforms, all thrifted" Total outfit cost: $9.97

The jacket is the best, it's SO eighties, really cropped and boxy. Makes me want to run for the hairspray and find some of those really close-fitting acid wash jeans. Well, not really! The sandals are super-cute but the closest thing to Chinese footbinding I've ever worn. Good thing I only paid $6.99 for them!
Au revoir...

Thursday, September 24, 2009


Breakfast of Champions...the famed MAYAN BLACK ONYX. It sounds so exotic, so mysterious, so rich and dark. It's not bad coffee, but more than drinking it, I just like to say the name:
MAYAN BLACK ONYX. It sounds like an Indiana Jones movie, or perhaps an older film starring Humphrey Bogart.

Mayan Black Onyx. Mayan Black Onyx. MAYAN BLACK ONYX. Mmmmmmmm...

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Project In Progress: Cargo Pants Jacket

These are my cargo pants...

And these are my cargo pants on my arm.
So if you thought this picture is of me doing a Scarecrow-from-the-Wizard-of-Oz-inspired dance move, you'd be wrong. This is my Project In Progress: the cargo pants jacket. Now some inquiring minds have inquired about the completion date for this project. The answer is:
1) when I have time to finish ripping the seams out of all the pants,
2) when I have a spare 10 hours, and
3) "after the dishes are done".
While #3 would seem to be the easiest, it is always the least attractive activity. #1 is also not really that fun or fast, as cargo pants have flat fell seams (the kind where the fabric is doubled over and stitched twice, with lots of annoying ladder-type serger action happening also). So it's slow going.
This idea came to me after I had been in J. Crew. They had a really cute military-type, army green jacket, just cotton, unlined, with nice pockets. I tried it on and loved it. However, due to my new commitment to thrift, I did not buy it. Some days later, as I was sorting through things I no longer wore much, I came upon these pants which were at one time a daily go-to pair but had fallen out of favor. So naturally, I put one leg on my arm and envisioned a really cool, Junya Watanabe-type jacket.

It's an arm! It's a leg! Arm! Leg!'s Cargo Pants Jacket!
Can't wait to see how it turns out. I will post a working sketch if I can figure out how to scan things.
Bisous, GW

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Public Service Announcement

Here it is, folks! The product you have been waiting for your whole life even though you never knew it existed! If you take the time to read the label, you will discover that the ANTI-PUFF EYE ROLLER GEL is far, far more than an ANTI-PUFF EYE ROLLER is a product which will DELIVER CAFFEINE into your system directly through the delicate skin around your eyes!!!

With a product like this, who needs Mayan Black Onyx Roast? Now the dark circles you used to get from staying up way too late or getting up way too early, activities enabled by copious amounts of caffeine, can be eradicated WHILE you are getting your caffeine!

This is probably the first thing ever (well, since the Nair commercials from the 70's and we all know that stuff not only doesn't work, it stinks) that I have purchased as a direct result of seeing an ad on tv. And it wasn't the anti-eye puff promise that hooked me, it was definitely the caffeine! And just look at how lovely and anti-puffy the eye on the box looks. Too bad about that lime green swoosh underneath though...

Do my eyes look "instantly renewed and refreshed"? I guess you can't tell, because I'm wearing sunglasses! It promises that "In 1 week: under-eye puffiness is reduced and women saw dark circles diminished". I've been using it for a week and frankly, my eyes look the same but the caffeine seems to be doing its job! What? You're not supposed to use it six times a day? Woooohoooo!!!!

Monday, September 21, 2009

The Girl

Just because I'm such a neo-luddite (I so love that word, I may have to stay one), I forgot to put a picture in the first entry. So here it is: oops, it's on top of the text. Told you so!


Welcome, welcome to LAND OF THE GIRLS! ...this is my space where I am going to post all the stuff that undoubtedly causes half my Facebook friends to "hide" from me.

Yes, here you can revel in the important information which comes straight from my only-slightly-crazed mind. Projects In Process (currently in the works: the cargo pants jacket, the cut leather cuff and the skirt I may make from a completely different jacket), important Public Service Announcements (like Vogue Francais Hair Week) and the Caffienated Eye Puff Remover Roller, what kind of coffee I am currently main-lining, and WhateverelseIwanttosay.

Because THIS is the LAND OF THE GIRLS. And I'm the first Girl here.